Emotional Intelligence

What is emotional intelligence and why is it so important?

In 1995, in his seminal book on the subject, Daniel Goleman defined emotional intelligence (EQ) as: knowing your emotions, managing your own emotions, motivating yourself, recognising and understanding other people’s emotions and managing relationships.

There are quite a few books and workshops on the subject. However, we have found them to be rather academic and lacking the deep understanding and a pragmatic and experiential approach that allows you to fully develop your emotional intelligence.

Sometimes referred to as Emotional Literacy, emotional intelligence is at the heart of life skills and the so called ‘soft skills’. There has been some academic debate as to the extent to which EQ can taught, learned and developed. We know that it can be. Each of us has a different default level of natural, inbuilt EQ; just like IQ – it can be taught and developed.

The term Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) has been coined to recognise that some aspects of EQ can be learned. However, most of these SEL techniques are surface level e.g. mindfulness, meditation, relationship counselling, impulse control, self-discipline, self-motivation, stress management or anger management. They get people to stop and recognise habitual behaviours which are not serving them or their relationships, with a view to stopping or modifying such behaviours. However, this is a long way from deeply understanding and accepting ourselves and others, using tool with the power and insight of The Enneagram, which leads to much more authentic, effortless and permanent changes in behaviour and relationship dynamics.

Watch our short video below to see how we elegantly unveil the hidden ego-based ‘blind spots’ from our client’s self-awareness.

It is said that emotional intelligence, is the most important factor in both successful leadership and successful relationships. The ability to lead and relate is certainly a huge consequence of good EQ. The importance of mastering these ‘blind spots’ is the basis of the Johari Window a model used to help people better understand their relationship with themselves and others. The tools and techniques that we have developed take the principles behind the Johari Window to a whole new level.

To get even more of a feel for what emotional intelligence actually feels like and its impact on relationships, read Di’s blog article which gives a female perspective, from someone who naturally is gifted when it comes to EQ (due to her type 2 Enneagram type).

If you want to read about EQ from a more academic, left brained perspective, Andy has written up his thoughts here and reviewed some of the academic research and publications on the subject.

Here’s a useful visual summary of the journey into emotional intelligence:

Self-awareness self-acceptance to self-actualisation

For most people, however well you know yourself, your true level of self-awareness is quite modest, and everyone else’s awareness of the real you is even less. We all tend to operate on surface-level emotions and behaviours and observe them in others, adding our own interpretation through a set of complex, sub-conscious perceptual and egoic filters. This is the starting point for the journey into self-awareness, emotional intelligence and great relationships.

If you would like to work with us to develop your emotional intelligence, working through your blind spots to connect to your potential, then…

We offer Breakthrough Experiences, fully tailored to YOU and/or your unique team of individuals, delivered by us on a one to one basis:

We offer the same process as a distance course too, which we can deliver personally to you, anywhere in the world:


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