The Dangerous Dozen

Do team and family members feel able to voice their opinion and feel heard, without being sabotaged by embarrassment, ridicule, shyness, assumptions or arguments? (Score guide: 1 = we rarely argue, everyone feels heard and understood; 10 = there are lots of assumptions and/or resentment, with little empathy; some people feel left out/under-valued/unheard).

Are their frequent arguments, or worse, simmering unresolved frustration and resentment? Do you feel that your (business and family) struggle with clashes of personality? How much do staff and family relationships struggle with any of the following: defensiveness, criticism, contempt, aggression, controlling and/or condescending behaviour, child-like or sulking/passive aggressive behaviour, drama, risk-taking, sitting on the fence/not expressing an opinion, perfectionism, or procrastination? This may occur with external advisors, customers, suppliers too. (Score guide: 1 = everyone gets along and cooperates well, we harness our individuality for the greater good, and we are a happy team; 10 = the team doesn’t ‘gel’ well, there are regular clashes of personality – we do not understand and accept/embrace our personality styles and differences).

Does fitting family members into roles feels like pushing square pegs into round holes? Are people in roles that they are not suited to, unhappy in or insufficiently trained for? (Score guide: 1 = people are happy and effective in their roles; 10= people are unhappy and ill-equipped for their roles)

Which of these most typifies relationships and the mood in your business? Where is your business on the continuum? Helpless/Hopeless/Angry vs Happy? (Score guide: 1 = Happy; 10 = very helpless/hopeless and/or very Angry)

Is there a clear leader or leadership team? Is decision making inclusive, inspiring and fair, frequently disagreed with or secretly resented? Does any level of autocracy create stress and resentment? (Score guide: 1 = the leadership is strong and clear, well respected, empowering and inclusive; 10 = the leadership style is (considered by some as) autocratic, over-bearing, and stressful and is resented by some).

Does the family and team rally round and step up to the plate when things need to get done? Does everyone equally/fairly pull their weight? (Score guide: 1= all the time; 7= Rarely; 10 = No)

If your MD/CEO is within 5-10 years of retirement, is there a succession plan? Is anyone being groomed to take over the leadership role(s)? Have assumptions been made about their willingness, ability and readiness to take over? Are these being addressed with coaching and leadership development? Are clashes in personality likely to challenge succession plans? (Score guide: 1= the future leaders are identified, willing and able – there is no resentment, we embrace life-long learning and development; 10 = there is no clear and agreed/accepted succession plan, there is no culture of life-long learning or of leadership development for future leaders).

Are there family favourites or inequalities that threaten the stability, sustainability and morale of the business? (Score guide: 1 = we all get along well and work effectively as a team; 10 = there are inequalities, arguments, unfairness and/or resentment between family members or indeed non-family employees).

Are family members able to leave work at work and create balance and a demarcation/separation of work from their home-life? (Score guide: 1 = this isn’t an issue, people are normally happy at work and at home; 10 = this is a major and stressful issue).

Is it difficult to balance the role of parent and boss or sons/daughter/sibling with that of co-worker, sub-ordinate or line manager? Are team and family members being encouraged and developed in their roles and future prospects/promotions? (Score guide: 1 = this isn’t an issue for us - we have all had our skills and strengths assessed; roles and skills development are decided upon accordingly; 10 = this is a major and stressful issue).

What about work-life balance and quality of life? Are balance and productivity promoted through time away from work, rewards and recognition? Or are unreasonable expectations placed unreasonably often? Note: These could be self-imposed, or imposed by others… (Score guide: 1 = this isn’t an issue – the business does not adversely affect home life (or vice versa), 10 = this is a major issue – problems and stress at work are brought home and/or problems at home adversely affect work life and productivity/mood).

How willing is/are the leadership within your business – to tackle the above issues (i.e. issues 1 to 11)? (Score guide: 1 = avoid/deny/sweep issue under the carpet or simply despair; 10 = we have tackled these issues proactively, openly, inclusively and fairly).