Results for category "Emotional Intelligence"

Emotional Intelligence Test Validity versus Efficacy


I have been asked several times recently about (i) whether you can measure emotional intelligence (EQ) and (ii) whether you can develop it – as opposed to being something you are born with. Great questions! I’ll answer the second part first, as it is easy (the answer is yes). Then I’ll share with you my own thoughts about any emotional intelligence test in principle and as a practical solution.

So, with regard to developing EQYES it most definitely can be developed. This entire website is dedicated to the HOW.

Here’s a quick summary of what follows below in regard to emotional intelligence tests:

  • There are several tests for emotional intelligence, however, we consider them to be based on an incomplete and inadequate definition of EQ.
  • What is missing is the same thing that is missing from most personal development – a lack of accounting for both differences in personality and the naturally varying emotional states that we can all experience.
  • EQ is about much more than being able to recognise and manage emotions – as such it is a misnomer!
  • There is considerable debate as to whether EQ is a form of intelligence or a skill. We question the relevance of the debate and understand it to be both.
  • As a skill, EQ can be learned and developed. As a form of intelligence and ability, it is not one thing, but a range of characteristics in which we will all have differing levels of natural ability. This is our starting point or baseline EQ.
  • In order to teach and learn EQ effectively, both teacher and pupils need to be more aware of and account for these baseline personality-related EQ abilities.
    • Contrary to some EQ advice, this needs to include many key subconscious facets of personality and ‘self’.
  • In our view, the currently available tests and assessments are incomplete when it comes to fully assessing EQ.
    • However, the commercially available EQ tests and assessments can:
      • Be a good predictor of organisational and corporate success.
      • Highlight learning and development opportunities both individually and organisationally.
    • The BIG challenge is that the many books and assessments of EQ, focus mainly on what it is (incompletely) and do a good job of explaining why it is important, but do little to offer anything close to a complete or pragmatic solution for HOW to develop EQ.
    • There are other forms of behavioural assessment, such as PRISM BrainMapping which capture the main elements of EQ, whilst providing significant other vocational benefits and cost effectiveness.
  • General levels of emotional intelligence correlate closely with wellbeing, happiness, resilience, relationship skills, leadership success, commercial success and organisational sustainability.

What follows are my own personal views on EQ – as a critique of how it has been academically defined and assessed:

Can Emotional Intelligence be measured?

Despite the work of several academic groups, there isn’t, as yet a generally agreed, all-inclusive definition of emotional intelligence. This hasn’t prevented several groups from developing tests and assessments to add to the many hundreds of psychometric offerings out there. It is big business. Read More →

Left Brain vs Right Brain


Here’s a short video worth watching. I’m not sure if the focus on left brain and IQ is a conspiracy – it could be. I have no doubt that many social/political/economic systems are left brained biased, which does in turn cause a lot of issues. More balance, more EQ (emotional intelligence) and more feminine characteristics and energy could go a long way to creating a better world.

In terms of left brain vs right brain and IQ vs EQ – more balance, more EQ (emotional intelligence) and more feminine characteristics and energy could go a long way to creating a better world.

Flexibility of behaviour and self-awareness are two of the major keys to success and happiness. Self-awareness is also the foundation of emotional intelligence, which in turn is one of the biggest success factors in personal effectiveness, management and leadership.

If you want to explore your natural brain and behavioural preferences and find your opportunities to grow and become more balanced and flexible – then we have the solutions – contact us to discuss or chat to us using the chat widget if we are online now.

As relationship mentors we educate our clients on the masculine and feminine and how to develop both aspects of themselves and use them to greatest effect in relationships.

Where our clients want to look at their career/career progression, vocation and direction in life, sense of purpose and direction, then PRISM Brain Mapping can help.

Check out our PRISM Brain Mapping page.

The importance of Emotional Intelligence for the Millennial Generation


Below is a great video, worth watching, featuring extracts from an interview with Simon Sinek from an episode of Inside Quest (IQ). Sinek is an American author. His ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action’ was listed as the third most popular TED presentation of all time

Sinek makes very many great points about how adolescents and young adults today are being set up for failure, due to the corporate and parenting culture and due to unrealistic expectations which are (un)grounded in an expectation of instant gratification.

What I find fascinating, is what Simon is really talking about – life skills – is emotional intelligence. Yet this isn’t mentioned by name. Funny that the video is from IQ, aka Intelligence Quotient, whereas the solution is really EQ – Emotional Quotient, or EI Emotional Intelligence, also sometimes referred to as emotional literacy.

The discussion highlights how the current obsession with social media is denying the opportunity to develop life skills and relationships skills, which are also not being facilitated in the corporate environment.

Here’s an extract from the discussion, followed by our thoughts: Read More →

Why Accelerated Personalised Development?


Why the term ‘Accelerated Personalised Development’? As you may have seen from the brief discussion our home page, answering the question “What do you do?” doesn’t seem quite so straight forward for us.

So if you have time, here’s a 33 minute video recorded at The Best You Expo 2017, where Andy describes how and why we arrived at this powerful methodology and why it is different to other personal development offerings. If you don’t have time to watch the video now, then read on.

Marketeers say that we need to keep descriptions really short, tight, clear, snappy, attractive etc. etc. That’s marketing for you!  Life really isn’t that simple. We say beware of people offering you very simple yet powerful generic personal development solutions – they usually don’t have a lasting effect once the hype has worn off…

We are in the business of human behaviour, people and relationship dynamics – these appear to be anything but simple! Indeed they are largely unfathomable to the vast majority of us.

This isn’t at all surprising as:

  • We all have very different character/personality/temperaments, much of which is hidden in our sub-conscious.
  • This isn’t taught to us in school.

The good news is that we have greatly simplified and systematised the understanding of people, relationships and human potential.

  • The system starts by focusing on you and the most important relationship – the one that you have with yourself.
  • We take our clients through a unique discovery process – developing much greater self-awareness, self-mastery, awareness of others and mastery in relationships.
  • We have systemised and condensed 24 years of combined experience and the study of many different human potential disciplines into a cohesive and structured process and framework.

Read More →

One couple’s breakthrough to love


We worked with a couple recently who had been together for 3 years. Our couple – let’s call them Mike and Ann – have given us permission to share their story. These are not their real names, and these photos are not of them – our clients always maintain full confidentiality.

Mike and Ann were experiencing difficulties in their relationship and wanted to find a way through. Communication was often fraught; either of them only had to do or say the slightest thing to spark an argument. This was happening without any intention to hurt or offend the other, so wires were definitely getting crossed somewhere between them.

Each time they argued it would take them into negative energy, where they would remain for several days until they worked their way back into a good place again. A few days later the cycle would repeat… and continue repeating three or four times a month.

When their relationship was good, it was great, and when it was difficult, it hurt like crazy for both of them. They were at their wits end.

One thing was very evident – this couple loved one another deeply. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to be together. They just didn’t know how to be together in a peaceful way, or how to resolve their differences amicably.

That’s where we came in. Read More →

How facing her fears gave birth to her dream


We had a wonderful phone call recently. A beautiful young lady we worked with last year gave birth to a gorgeous little baby girl. This may seem pretty normal for a 32 year old married woman, but for her it was life-changing and a dream come true. Her name is Christine, and she’s given us permission to share her story.

When Christine initially contacted us, she’d been struggling with anxiety for a long time. She really wanted to resolve this. She was longing for a life where she could look forward to the future without constant worry. She’d been trying to start a family for over five years, but her body wasn’t yielding.

Christine constantly imagined the worst case scenario for the majority of situations she faced. Logically she knew that the worst case scenario rarely materialised, but it didn’t stop her imagining it anyway. It’s no wonder she felt anxious so much of the time. She had no idea how to stop this from taking over her life. Read More →

The Best You


Do you want to become The Best You?

  • Do you want to achieve permanent, positive change?
  • Are you still searching to find the real you?
  • Are loving relationships and lasting happiness passing you by?
  • Do you lack purpose and direction?

Perhaps you’ve read the self-help books, watched the videos and attended the events, but you still can’t find your path to self-fulfilment and happiness?

The Best You ExpoWe’ve found the solution you’ve been searching for, and we want to share it with you.

We are husband and wife team Andrew and Diane Nicholson from Connect To Your Potential. We’d like to invite you to come and meet us, plus here our two talks at the UK’s biggest personal development event – The Best You Expo, which takes place on Sat-Sun 4-5th March 2017 at ExCel London. We are on Stand 26b.

Here’s the link to our speaker biography page, plus some of our credentials: Read More →

One Man’s Journey – A Beautiful Breakthrough

Diane Nicholson

Andy and I have recently enjoyed the most beautiful Breakthrough Experience with a client. His name is Terry, he’s 42, and he’s given us full permission to share his story.

Terry flew up to Inverness for his 48 hour Breakthrough not really knowing quite what to expect. He’d been experiencing issues in his relationships; they never seemed to last. He knew women were drawn to him, but they soon began to get disgruntled, then he would find himself doing anything and everything he could to sabotage and escape the relationship. This pattern kept repeating itself, even though he had been dating some really wonderful women.

At 42, he felt it was time to sort these issues out once and for all. Read More →

Have you stopped growing up?


I’ve just started watching a fascinating programme on Channel 4 about the developmental psychology of 4, 5 and 6 year olds.

Here’s the thing. I watched it after watching an episode of the Apprentice on BBC iPlayer. The patterns of behaviour were remarkably similar! Defensiveness, entitlement, boys vs. girls, bravado….

It begs the question – how grown up are you? When did we stop growing up? How much more growing up is possible/desirable?

Adolescent Minds

It is my contention that most of us are adolescent minds and souls – struggling in an adult body and world Read More →

A reflection on Coaching vs Mentoring + Awareness


Having always had an interest in ‘what makes us tick’, over the past 30 years I have formally and informally studied many aspects of human behaviour and performance. As I write this, I have just turned 50 years young. Upon reaching the age of 39, I came to the realisation that life wasn’t going how I wanted it to, not that I had much of a plan. I experienced a year of intense frustration – post-divorce, post-redundancy, and at a time when it became apparent that I needed to change what I was doing in order to get different results – certainly from a relationship and a career perspective. I didn’t know what I wanted to do – just that I don’t want more of the same…

During this time, I re-connected with an old friend – I shall call him Ali. He had been through similarly challenging times. After listening to my tale of woe, he suggested getting into personal development, in order to develop some new perspectives on life. I went along to monthly personal development groups in Birmingham and listened to a different speaker reach month on a wide variety of subjects including: health, wealth, positive thinking and relationships. This gradually helped me to reflect on my state of ‘woe’ and upon my potential for much greater things.

reflection ~

  • The throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.
  • Serious thought or consideration.

These ‘PD’ meetings gave me the lift and the kick I needed. They opened up my thinking, got me focused on new possibilities and motivated to change. Read More →