Monthly archives "June 2017"

Why relationships can be scary for women…

Diane Nicholson

When a man chooses to step up and become fully present for the woman he loves, he reaps great rewards from the relationship. Likewise, if he chooses not to, he is likely to face some of the situations men want to run from most… until he does step up, that is.

When a man is not being entirely honest with a woman, she will generally pick up on this as an unsettled feeling within her, even though she may not be able to pinpoint exactly why she feels that way. A woman will sense his underlying motives over and above his words, and if something about the two don’t feel congruent to her, then her head and heart with go into battle as she tries to figure out what her amber warning signal is trying to tell her. When a woman ceases to trust her own intuition and thinking, it can result in a change in her behaviour. Read More →

Emotional Intelligence Test Validity versus Efficacy


I have been asked several times recently about (i) whether you can measure emotional intelligence (EQ) and (ii) whether you can develop it – as opposed to being something you are born with. Great questions! I’ll answer the second part first, as it is easy (the answer is yes). Then I’ll share with you my own thoughts about any emotional intelligence test in principle and as a practical solution.

So, with regard to developing EQYES it most definitely can be developed. This entire website is dedicated to the HOW.

Here’s a quick summary of what follows below in regard to emotional intelligence tests:

  • There are several tests for emotional intelligence, however, we consider them to be based on an incomplete and inadequate definition of EQ.
  • What is missing is the same thing that is missing from most personal development – a lack of accounting for both differences in personality and the naturally varying emotional states that we can all experience.
  • EQ is about much more than being able to recognise and manage emotions – as such it is a misnomer!
  • There is considerable debate as to whether EQ is a form of intelligence or a skill. We question the relevance of the debate and understand it to be both.
  • As a skill, EQ can be learned and developed. As a form of intelligence and ability, it is not one thing, but a range of characteristics in which we will all have differing levels of natural ability. This is our starting point or baseline EQ.
  • In order to teach and learn EQ effectively, both teacher and pupils need to be more aware of and account for these baseline personality-related EQ abilities.
    • Contrary to some EQ advice, this needs to include many key subconscious facets of personality and ‘self’.
  • In our view, the currently available tests and assessments are incomplete when it comes to fully assessing EQ.
    • However, the commercially available EQ tests and assessments can:
      • Be a good predictor of organisational and corporate success.
      • Highlight learning and development opportunities both individually and organisationally.
    • The BIG challenge is that the many books and assessments of EQ, focus mainly on what it is (incompletely) and do a good job of explaining why it is important, but do little to offer anything close to a complete or pragmatic solution for HOW to develop EQ.
    • There are other forms of behavioural assessment, such as PRISM BrainMapping which capture the main elements of EQ, whilst providing significant other vocational benefits and cost effectiveness.
  • General levels of emotional intelligence correlate closely with wellbeing, happiness, resilience, relationship skills, leadership success, commercial success and organisational sustainability.

What follows are my own personal views on EQ – as a critique of how it has been academically defined and assessed:

Can Emotional Intelligence be measured?

Despite the work of several academic groups, there isn’t, as yet a generally agreed, all-inclusive definition of emotional intelligence. This hasn’t prevented several groups from developing tests and assessments to add to the many hundreds of psychometric offerings out there. It is big business. Read More →