Monthly archives "May 2016"

Have you ever really thought about the way in which you set out to attract a new partner, or the way in which you find yourself being attracted into a new relationship? It’s such a vital element to think about, because ultimately, it can tell you so much about the kind of relationship that is likely to unfold.

It works for both sexes equally, and there are very few people who haven’t exhibited one or more of the patterns shared in this article in the search for love. Quite simply, we all respond to the stimuli around us – men and women alike. We all set out to stimulate and be stimulated in the search for love.

Infatuation can so easily blind us to reality. When someone makes us feel good, we often can’t see beyond that and only consider the surface level experience which feels great, in other words “Fantastic! Someone likes me!” Sometimes we quite literally can’t see the wood for the trees. We don’t look beneath the surface for vital signs of what this tells us about who they actually are as an individual, or at the clues as to what this means for the relationship itself should we choose to embark on it. Instead we subconsciously ignore it. This is called willful blindness. Added to this, we also tend to think we can change people, or that people will change through our love.

It goes without saying that the points we’ve raised below are not in any way set in stone. This is simply an awareness, something to think about.

Having worked closely with the Enneagram types for many years now, we’ve outlined in this article some very real scenarios that specific Enneatypes will play subconsciously as part of their default behavioural patterns. Many people tell us that they tend to keep attracting the same type of partner, and therefore these patterns keep playing, over and over again.

So here we go… Read More →

Firstly, it’s important to point out that there is no absolute way of guaranteeing an affair proof relationship. There are many factors to take into account; who your partner is as an individual, how they feel about themselves which will often determine how responsive they are to attention from others, whether they maintain healthy boundaries, and how drawn they are to variety, to name but a few. If these aren’t regularly occurring issues, then there are some fundamental things that every couple can do to make their relationship as strong and ‘affair proof’ as possible.

Affairs generally tend to begin when one partner’s needs are not being met within the relationship. Yet how many of us don’t even know what our own needs are, never mind our partner’s?

And then there’s the issue of communicating your needs… to many that may seem selfish. Or perhaps we feel our partner should just know what they are.

Unfortunately not… Read More →